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How manny of you wanted to get the latest gadget on the palm of their hands? Or, should I just say fingertips. Yes folks gadgets are getting smaller and smarter these days, I like the iphone. It's the best. I used it for a couple of days and I can't wait to own one, unfortunately I can't afford it. It's too expensive for me! MP3's can hold videos, PSP can give you the entertainment you need on the road. You see I bought my first phgone when I was in college and I thought I was so cool back then but, it evolved! The phone that I had back then was just a thing of the past. now there's newer models and other gadgets that can make your mouth water. I bought my PSP and it gave me everything! I am what you can say a "game addict" I played games from PS1, XBOX to PS2. Now, I have my PSP and it exceeded my expectations. I can watch movies, play games and store music! What more can you ask for? But, then iphones was released and it was... well... I can't even think of the word to describe it! It's AMAZING! touch screen capabilities... you don't need that stylus anymore that kept scratching your phone's screen. I have to say, I want one of those... if I can afford it!

I just came from a long vacation and now im back to work. I suddenly found myself wondering why am I here? Hmmm.... To be honest I really don't know. I know it's frustrating to be in a position that you don't know why or how you got into but, the only thing in your mind is that you have to it or elsse. I don't really mind doing my work it's my job but, I happen to lack the reason why I'm doing it. I'm like a robot that doesn't have control over my body. My mind is full of thoughts that I shouldn't even think about. I'm lost! I dont know where I am or where I'm supposed to be! I do know one thing... I'm gonna be a dad, and that is the only thing that drives me right now! I wanna provide for my kid! I don't want to be some irresponsible parent that a kid wishes they never had! I just hope that I have the strength for that or a sanity for the matter!

Most of us need the money to survive. We need to earn a living to get what we want and what we need. We need the everyday stress just to call us part of the working population. I can't think other wise. But, what can we do? Someone told me to work in order to live and not to live in order to work. How I wish I can do that, but, as time passes you by you seem to lost track of what you want and prioritize on the things that what you need. Which is right in my book, because there is always that extra time to get what you want in life. aI wake up every morning to go to work and go home to sleep and prepare myself for another day. It is not easy, and I now realize the world does not always work like you want it to be! I am wrtting because this is the only way to release what I want to say and find out if there is anybody sharing the same dilema. I know there is. You are not alone my friend. I wake up every morning telling myself I am strong and to tell life to bring it on! I go home and tell myself I've done everything I can and that I can do more the next day!

     Life... who ever among us said that life is treating you fair? I am sure that not all of us think that way. But, as some will say every thing has it's reasons. I wonder? what was the reason for my sister's addiction to drugs? why did she do it? why was I the only one left responsible for the things that needed to be done? I can't think of any reasons for that. I can't even begin to understand the reason behind what ever reasons it will be. They say I must accept the fact that I was stronger that she is. I am only as strong as the people around me, I say back to them! Where will I get my strength from now that this kind of thing happened!? I also don't know the answer to that one!

      It is true that we don't know the answer to every thing that is happening or to every questions that they ask us. I do know one thing... I'm gonna be a father and that alone gives me all the reasons that I need to keep going! I want to see my child eyes when he or she is born and tell him/her that I love him/her. I will give my child the strength that i got from him when they need it and not leave them when they need me. Every thing has a reason, well... I don't need any reason for this one!

     In liofe you never knew who your brother or sister would be! I can never tell what they will end up doing! All you can do is hope that they end up happy and fulfilled! I love my sister and my brother, as well as my family! I'm just 26 but I provide everything from paying the bills and providing food on the table. I work in a call center, my salary is not enough for all of that! but, I still took that responsibility! I'm not angry at my sister for doing drugs, given that she now has a kid which is 6 yrs of age and a husband who's only concern is... well... NOTHING! I'm mad because I guess I can't control things! I can't make my sister stop! I can't make them happy! I'm working but my mind is foing something else! I constantly think of what to do next because I have no more to give!

      In life everything is not fair! I just hope I can go on like this and hope that the same thing don't happen to my own family someday!